Recently, my son had the opportunity to guest play on another soccer team. 

It was an exciting moment for him — a chance to test his skills in a new environment, meet new teammates, and experience different coaching styles.

What I didn’t expect was the impact this particular coach would have on him — not just on his performance, but on his mindset, confidence, and passion for the game.

From the very first practice, I noticed something different. 

The coach didn’t lead with ego. 

He didn’t bark orders or humiliate mistakes. 

He didn’t try to control through fear or intimidation.

Instead, he led with intention — playing, teaching, and guiding with clear purpose and deep care for the players’ growth. 

He corrected with encouragement. 

He motivated with belief. 

He turned every moment, whether good or bad, into a learning opportunity.

In just a few practices and games under this coach’s guidance, my son’s love for soccer deepened. 

He played with more creativity. 

He took more risks. 

He smiled more — not because it was easy, but because he felt safe enough to stretch and grow.

This coach wasn’t a “bear” on the field. 

He was a guide. 

And the impact he had in just a short time was a powerful reminder of the kind of leaders our children desperately need.

Bear vs. Guide: Which One Are You Becoming for the Children You Lead?

Every adult who works with children — whether a parent, teacher, coach, or mentor — is shaping young minds through their daily interactions. 

And whether we realize it or not, we are all becoming either a Bear or a Guide in their lives.

🐻 The Bear 

– Triggers fear daily 

– Hardwires the brain for survival 

– Shrinks emotional resilience 

– Weakens decision-making 

– Teaches: Perform to survive

🧭 The Guide

– Builds trust daily 

– Hardwires the brain for growth 

– Strengthens emotional regulation 

– Boosts critical thinking 

– Teaches: Grow to thrive

> Children wired for fear survive. 

> Children wired for trust thrive.

Why It Matters More Than You Think

Every word, every reaction, every look matters. 

Children are constantly reading the adults around them: Am I safe? Am I valued? Am I capable?

When children are raised under the weight of constant fear, their brains adapt for survival — not success. 

– Their amygdala becomes hyperactive. 

– Their memory and emotional centers shrink. 

– Their critical thinking abilities weaken.

But when children are raised with trust, encouragement, and guidance, their brains wire for growth: 

– They build stronger emotional resilience. 

– They develop sharper reasoning skills. 

– They step into challenges with confidence, not fear.

Just like my son’s soccer coach showed — being the guide doesn’t mean letting kids coast. 

It means challenging them with belief, leading them with consistency, and inspiring them with purpose — not intimidation.

Be the Guide

In a world that often rewards toughness and dominance, choosing to lead with intention and compassion takes true strength. 

It requires daily choices to build up, not break down. 

To teach, not tear down. 

To nurture, not control.

Be the adult who wires children for trust, growth, and possibility.

Be the guide who sees their potential even when they can’t see it themselves.

Because in the end, it’s not the trophies or scores that matter. 

It’s the confident, resilient humans we help shape — one interaction, one deposit, one moment at a time.

Be the guide. 

Change the brain. 

Change their future.